Here at Wonder & Possibility, we offer a “field guide for the curious who seek to thrive”. Our perspective is that being out in the FIELD, is life itself, daily experiences each of us encounters and creates. The GUIDE is a collection of strategies, ideas, insights etc. which contribute to creating a life that thrives and flourishes…even in the midst of seemingly challenging circumstances.  Recently, I found myself adding pages to my guide.

You might remember from my previous blog (Whether to Consider the Weather – 9/2)  I was flying to Italy with my husband for a long anticipated holiday to connect with family members and celebrate my youngest sister’s 50th birthday.  From my current vantage point, this trip turned out to be the beginning of an adventurous period of my life on numerous levels. I find myself still processing all that has happened.

Which brings me to my personal field guide for these past two months beginning with my trip to Italy and reflecting on the concepts of gratitude and grace (with a little wine) relative to my life experiences. 

The adventure began…

Ahhh, Italy… the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and the feeling of being embraced by a culture that has set a standard for flourishing and living life to the fullest.  Having the chance to taste succulent tomatoes, so sweet and juicy bursting with deep flavor accompanied by creamy fresh mozzarella oozing over crisp crostini slices, it was heaven to my palate.  And don’t get me started on the virtues of sipping a glass (or two) of Italian wine and a couple of scoops of gelato on a daily basis. Sighhhhh

I loved soaking in the sights of architectural wonders in the morning light along Venice’s Grand Canal which endeared me to the magic that city had to offer.  My senses were filled to the brim with wonder and anticipation about what might be the next possibility down the alley or across the bridge as we wandered. 

I felt such gratitude during that time in Venice from sensory experiences which brought me joy and delight from the “outside in”.  Appreciation for all that I encountered continued as we traveled to the Lake Como region and met with several family members for the anticipated celebratory gathering in an incredible lakeside location arranged by my youngest sister. 

Upon arrival, my senses were overloaded as I took in all that was being offered from hiking up a mountain for incredible vistas, to dining on delectable Italian dishes al fresco, to practicing yoga overlooking Lake Como.  

However, as time unfolded what really came to matter more than soaking in the outside experiences was the gratitude I felt inside and wanted to extend outward.  Due to my sister’s wonderful generosity, I had the grace of being able to experience this beautiful place together with several family members including our mother.  

The significance of what I came to feel inside becoming more of an ‘inside out” experience regarding gratitude expanded. This exchange developed between what I noticed with appreciation…and what I felt inside and wanted to expand outward to offer gratitude and grace to those around me.

Then, an unexpected turn of events midway during our time together, brought to the forefront the importance of gratitude and grace in various forms.

Our eighty (plus) year old mother slipped and fell while stepping into a boat on Lake Como.  

What mattered the most from that moment on was the grace of her survival and her well being.

Gratitude and grace infused an exchange from “outside in and inside out” regarding my state of being.

With a knife-like fracture in her left femur (thigh bone) just an inch away from her femoral artery, there was a tremendous sense of gratitude and a feeling of grace regarding her safe transportation to the local hospital in Como.

The physical state of the fracture, required the surgical implant of a titanium rod and pins the length of the femur by an Italian surgeon within a couple days of the accident. By pure grace, the leading orthopedic surgeon from Milan specializing in this type of fracture just happened to be available to perform the surgery the particular day needed in the Lake Como hospital  (an hour away). 

In the middle of the first night at the hospital with mom, I felt extreme gratitude for Google Translator on my phone, as Italian hospital personnel didn’t speak English.

Our family members, as well as a new “adopted” family, came to the care of our mother.  Everyone one stepped into a role that suited his or her strength and provided grace to a challenging situation. 

When I did have a chance to take a breath and pause, I was really grateful for the bonding, love, care and concern which was evident throughout this ordeal among all of us gathered there at the villa at Lake Como.  

From my youngest sister coordinating logistics of travel changes for our mother…to another sister offering expertise understanding the protocol of Italian hospitals…to my sister-in-law following up on insurance procedures… to my husband entertaining mom with playing cards while staying in the hospital… to the villa’s staff providing welcome supplies of delicious food and wine to counteract the hospital fare…(even in Italy, hospital food leaves much to be desired!) I felt this deep inner sense of thankfulness and appreciation.      

Of course, there were bumps along the way in my mother’s healing journey in Italy, but overall, there were and continue to be so many things to feel grateful about this event.

By the way, Mom made it home safely from Italy, after an additional week there and continues to heal with gratitude, grace and a little wine.

As I reflect upon my field guide for a thriving life and what happened in Italy, I recognize the important role gratitude and grace had in my experience. AND, I can honestly say, I had a wonderful time in so many ways on this trip! 

Being home now, during this holiday season, the concepts of gratitude and grace seem to be very evident for many of us in some form from commercials to news stories to social media.

J. Ryan’s classic book, Attitudes of Gratitude, supports the idea that gratitude is a stance we voluntarily take, and one we can adopt through the difficult seasons of life as well as the good ones. The daily practice of gratitude keeps the heart open regardless of what comes our way.

Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on the benefits of gratitude cites the following:

1. Gratitude allows us to celebrate the present. It magnifies positive emotions. 
2. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret—emotions that can destroy our happiness.
3. Grateful people are more stress resistant. There’s a number of studies showing that in the face of serious trauma, adversity, and suffering, if people have a grateful disposition, they’ll recover more quickly.  (May I have an amen to that one for sure ?!! )
4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth. I think that’s because when you’re grateful, you have the sense that someone else is looking out for you—someone else has provided for your well-being, or you notice a network of relationships, past and present, of people who are responsible for helping you get to where you are right now.

Overall, my Italian adventure provided me the opportunity to fill my senses with amazing sights, sounds, textures, smells and tastes.  Along with the chance to add new pages to my field guide regarding gratitude and grace in times of life’s unexpected twists.   

So, I might offer if you gather around a table with friends and family this holiday season, take a moment to embrace that spirit of gratitude and grace knowing there are real benefits for you in creating your thriving life.

Oh, don’t forget to add a few grapes (in liquid or solid form).

With wonder and possibility,

Barbara

11/22/19

For more insights about the benefits of gratitude, check out this article:

Why Gratitude is Good